Amaze your friends! Impress the ladies! Strike fear into the shriveled hearts of your enemies! Get a good grade in shop class! With this bracelet you can carry a mini screwdriver, or 28 other tools. Or take off the bracelet and use it as a wrench! This is so cool the guys in James Bond's lab are green with envy. With this thing you can lay claim to manly manhood even if you do Pilates and voted for Obama.

Due to a difference of opinion regarding the chastity of the Princess, his daughter. The airports are closed to you. If you don't get out within the deadline, you'll be beheaded, but something other than your head will be the first to go. This new model Alfa Romeo is the car you use for your escape.

You think back to last evening. Well worth it, indeed.

One pair is by Adidas and one by Valentino. Can you tell which cost $750 and which cost $30? Next question: If you buy the pair for $750, is there a brain in your head?

P.S. The Valentinos for $750 are the plainer ones on the bottom.

Okay, so you just cured cancer - not just one, but pretty much the whole batch. It was exhausting, but you made enough money to retire the national debt, which you plan to give away in an intelligent way. But, that's for later. Right now, you're tired, sick of giving media interviews, and you've had enough of the Columbian models - for the moment. You feel the obligation to do something decadent and selfish. Just once. So you order these sweatpants by Sacai designer Chitose Abe for $576. Crazy price, and stupid any other time, but, as we mentioned, you did just cure cancer, so it's okay. Then you're going to put them on and climb into bed.

We love an outrageous hat, and white usually looks great on a woman of color. But still, something here is not working for us.

Sure, your mom will say it's too much, but minimalism can only get you so far.

Not for everyone we'll admit, but we can pretty much guarantee that you won't see a bunch of ladies wearing the same thing.

We're going to take a wild guess here that the term "bomber" jacket has to do with World War II bomber crews. Not that it really matters. Here are 4 cool ones. The two on the right are by Alexander Wang. Top left is DSqaured, and bottom left is Dolce and Gabbana. What is really cool is that all but the Dsquared model are all well under $1K. So they may actually be worth it.

Let's say you're a woman, but thinking of becoming a man. Or vice versa.  But, hey, it's a hard decision with a lot of things to consider.  Bruce Jenner on the one hand...... your mother's point of view on the other. The use of precious medical resources to perpetrate a crime against nature while children die for lack of medical care against ...well...something.

In any event you'll need something to wear while you ponder this decision...and this is just the sort of thing...Not really for men, and not really for women...

Let's say you want to play solider for a day, but you're not really, like, brave or anything. Also, let's suppose - just for fun - that you're the kind of idiot that likes $1,800 toys that you can wear. And that, for some reason, you prefer not to go to your local Army Surplus store and pay $40 for this jacket.  Given all that, this is a fine selection Sir.