Put him into a jump suit; in this case by Moschino.

It's really cool that clothing designers are moving way beyond design and into innovating new types of fabrics. In the world of work out wear, we guess this started with Lululemon, which pioneered exotic fabrics and things like "stink-stopping Silverescent® fabric technology, powered by X-STATIC®". Does it work? We have no idea; we've always thought Lululemon stuff was way too expensive for workout gear.

And then there is Vuori, a much smaller California based workout line. An article in Essential Homme sounds more like an April Fool's joke, claiming that "the blend of wood and pulp used to make Vuori's fabric releases vitamins and minerals when you sweat, allowing for an active nutrient exchange and a top-notch workout." Fantasy or Reality? There is nothing on the Vuori website about this kind of miracle fabric, and its certainly something you would think they would promote. So maybe it's just the overactive imagination of someone associated with the brand. Or maybe not; there is so much innovation in fabrics these days, who knows?

We know very little about the clothing line called Tallia Orange, except that it appears to be very affordable and is carried by places that I would not normally associate with high fashion or, actually, any fashion, like Macy's and Belks. But the sport jackets look pretty cool, they're cheap at $150 or less, and they come in a big and tall line.

Clean cut, not a kid, no visible tats, smiling, and wearing clothes that make sense - a nice looking sports jacket for $150. All good.

As a general rule, the car does not make the man, nor do the clothes, or anything else. A dumpy middle aged man driving an expensive car is still a dumpy middle aged man. However, we may make an exception to our general rule for this car. It is not super expensive, but it is super cool. And you my friend, even wearing those Dockers, even with that bad hair cut, will look cool in this car.

Or perhaps Iggy Pop? No? Then under no circumstances should you be seen in this suit. Not even in your own home. With the blinds down. And the lights turned off. No, no, no.

GQ recently made it official with an issue (April 2015) devoted to SportsCore, or the elevation of workout clothing to designer attention - and prices. These $865 sweatpants from Lanvin are part of a very bad trend. Are they made of gold perhaps? No, cotton, just like the ones from the Gap.

Work out wear should be basic, and cheap. If you're not going to the gym, don't wear it. If you are going to the gym, keep it simple. $40 sweats and a $10 white tee shirt will do just fine. If you want to impress the dudes at the gym, do a 285 pound bench press, with good form. If you want to impress us, do the 285 bench and then help an old lady find the 5 pound plate she's looking for. If you want to be the gym joke, wear fancy clothes.

(And a little tip for you - the guys lifting the most weight are the most covered up.)

Or the starting forward for the Kentucky Wildcats? We're generally not fond of celebrity endorsements - in fact, they make us puke. But this car coat from H&M, modeled by soccer star David Beckham, is kinda cool for the right person. And at $70, it's real cheap. Do not try this at home if you are under 6 feet tall. Unless you're like 5'3" and everyone trembles when you walk by cause your the baddest dude in the hood.

Query: If you spent your entire life looking, could you find any shoes uglier and stupider than these? These are the Omega leather sandals from KTZ. The bad news: they're stupid and ugly. The good news: they're only $628. Proving again that shoes are better than people, because most stupid and ugly people are far more expensive, one way or the other.

Do you wake up at 2 in the afternoon and ring for a soy latte? Did you dad give you something red and shiny for last Christmas from a company called Ferrari? Did you wreck two days later? Are you dating a Russian model who expects a present every time you have sex? If you answered yes to any of these questions we have the shoes for you. These beauties are from Givenchy, Baby's Breath Print Tyson Calfskin Sneakers, a steal at $1,175.