Here at The Outrage we’ve discovered a secret that will change the course of history!
America, and increasingly the rest of the world, is getting fat. Very fat.
Of course, that’s no secret – you can watch the great obese hordes waddle by at your local mall, restaurants, in fact, just about anywhere. What to do?
Not to fret. The Outrage team – outraged by the tidal wave of fat about to envelop us – has gotten off the couch, turned off the TV, and sprung into action. There are hundreds – no, thousands – of diet books out there, as well as an infinite variety of magazine articles, TV programs, online information, and other info hawkers telling you about the best ways to lose weight. Eat less fat. Or eat more fat. Eat only meat. Or don’t eat any meat.
Carbs are good. Carbs are bad. Coffee is good. Perhaps coffee is bad. Alcohol is good; alcohol is bad. There is an infinite variety of advice being dolled out in the multi-billion dollar diet industry, but, after painstaking review of all the available literature, and metastudies of all the studies, we have found the shocking truth.
We’re providing this truth not for $19.95, or even for the low, low discounted price of $9.95, but, well, for free, to save our country, and perhaps the world. So, take a deep breath, loosen your belt, and here goes:
Eat less. Exercise more.
Stay tuned for our next amazing diet secret (Hint: Eat more fruits and vegetables)