3 WAYS TO KILL AND WALK!

1) Play Dumb

DeWitt Stith raped a 12-year-old boy in January.

Stith admitted the crime.

Stith is now a free man.

Bernard Eaton admitted that he strangled Reginald Lovette to
death because Lovette was snoring too loudly. Eaton is also a free man.

Other than their freedom, Eaton and Stith have much in common –
both are mentally handicapped men who were living in group homes in
the District of Columbia when they committed their crimes.

DC law does not allow for the incarceration – even the forced
hospitalization – of the mentally handicapped, no matter how heinous
the crime. Being classified as mentally handicapped, rightly or
wrongly, is, in the nation’s capitol, a license to rape or kill.
(And you thought only rich, famous athletes like OJ could afford
that kind of license.)

Eaton is now living with his mother. Stith is living in another
group home. When told of his release, the mother of the 12 year-
old boy he raped “struggled to understand how Stith could go free.”

2) Don’t Tell Daddy

16 year-old David Allen Moore killed two men, and is now serving
two life sentences. Like Stith and Eaton, Moore may soon go free.
But for quite a different reason: While Moore is not mentally handicapped, he
was a juvenile at the time he murdered his victims.

The Virginia Supreme Court has just ruled that any conviction of
a juvenile is invalid unless both of the juvenile’s parents were
notified when the teenager was prosecuted. We assume this is so
that both parents, who have done such a fine job of raising their
children, can assist Junior in beating the rap.

In Moore’s case, his mother was notified, but his father was not.
No great shocker there, as Moore’s father had left his son and
wife when Moore was 4 years old. And where was the man who was
going to provide such crucial advice to his loving son? In prison.

Virginia Assistant Attorney General Michael T. Judge believes
that the ruling “could invalidate thousands of felony
convictions.” Arlington County Commonwealth’s Attorney Richard
E. Trodden: “It is truly one of those situations where form has
been elevated over substance.”

3) Blame Society

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold won’t be released, but only because
they turned their weapons on themselves after killing 13 of their
classmates and wounding 21 others. Much like cockroaches after
dark, the inevitable apologists have emerged and are blaming
Columbine High’s culture, especially preferential treatment of
athletes, for the slaughter.

The theory goes something like this: Harris and Klebold were
driven to their rampage by “feelings of powerlessness” and a
desire to revenge inequity. Some of the gross injustices that
supposedly spurred Harris and Klebold to mass murder were:

• The state wrestling champion was allowed to park his car all
  day in a 15 minute parking spot.
• A football player got away with teasing a girl about her
  breasts. (An offense that would, of course, be punished by
  summary execution in an office environment.)
• Sports pages in the school yearbook were in color; pages about
  the debating team and other clubs were in black and white.

Obviously the only way to remedy such atrocities was by killing
as many of their fellow students as possible. If Harris and
Klebold were still alive, their apologists would undoubtedly be
mounting a defense on the grounds that the two killers were
driven to despair by their peers.

Interested in getting away with murder? No problem – just take a
lesson from the stories above. If you’re young or mentally
incapacitated, the path is clear. If you’re not so young, and
still hanging onto the sunny side of mental competency, just tell
‘em about the time the bully pushed you down on the playground
and then do as you please.

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