Vickie Dugan wasn’t too successful as a college softball coach — in fact, her team went 0-24 in Dugan’s final season. But Dugan knows how to win where it really counts — in the courtroom.

A jury has awarded the former Oregon State University softball coach $1,090,000, after Dugan claimed the losing record wasn’t her fault. Dugan successfully convinced the all-woman jury she was the victim of gender discrimination.

Dugan accused the state school of paying her too little money and spending too little on the softball team she coached. Dugan, whose in-conference record during her six years as a coach was 9-112, said she was paid less than her male coaching counterparts.

The all-female jury awarded Dugan $13,498 for the claim regarding inequality of pay, and almost 80 times that amount for other damages. The jury was not swayed by the fact that the two committees that decided to fire Dugan were composed mostly of women.

We’re sure that a softball team is an absolutely vital part of every college education. But we kinda wonder how many books taxpayers of Oregon could have provided for the university with the money that will now go to make Vickie Dugan the state’s most successful unsuccessful sports coach.


With American juries so anxious to award victims so generously, it’s no surprise that some dirty rats would be tempted to “cook up” some claims.

Michael F. Zanakis told McDonald’s he found a rat’s tail in his two-year-old son’s Happy Meal. Zanakis was going to tell the world about this trauma if McDonald’s didn’t pay him five million dollars. He threatened to call a press conference and have his infant son hold the rat’s tail for photographers.

In fact, Zanakis took a rat’s tail from the medical research laboratory where he worked, fried it, and then put it in a package of fries he bought at a Mac’s on Long Island.

Zanakis, an associate professor at the New York College of Osteopathic Medicine, probably would have been able to pull off the scam, but he got greedy.

First of all, Zanakis had experience on his side. He has previously gotten Coca-Cola to pay him $4,600 when he claimed he found “bits of greasy particles” when he drank a can of Coke in 1993. What with the dramatic escalation in jury awards to victims, Zanakis must have figured he sold out way too low, so he invented a much more dramatic scheme and went for the big bucks. Referring to the McDonald’s case, Assistant U.S. Attorney Leonard Lato said, “(Zanakis) asked for too much money, that was the bottom line.”

Proving that crime and science really do mix, Zanakis, a medical researcher, was convicted of extortion on Monday. The jury found him guilty both in his unsuccessful attempt to have McDonald’s pay up and in his successful fraud against Coke.

Zanakis plans to appeal the extortion verdicts. He might want to contact Vickie Dugan for a little help with the legal fees.


Read more about the coach with the perfect batting record at the National Center For Public Policy Research site.

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0 thoughts on “LOSER WINS, RAT LOSES!

  1. I worked for Dr. Zanakis at the time of the Coca Cola incident. He definitely opened a sealed can of Coca Cola and there was definitely a greasy substance in it. Coca Cola later identified the substance as ‘seamer grease’ which is completely harmless though not particularly tasty.

    I still don’t know what to believe about the McDonald’s incident. The lab report on the tail seemed to indicate that it was a gopher, not a laboratory rat. There was no smoking gun that showed that he acquired the tail, tampered with it, placed it, or that it was in fact from a rat, much less a laboratory rat. (Though nothing to disprove those claims either.)

    As for the request for $5 million dollars, that was McDonald’s idea, not Mike’s. They pressured him heavily to ask for a large amount of money specifically because they wanted it to use at trial. While I can definitely say that Mike was looking for money after the incident and did threaten to go public if he didn’t get it, that’s not really proof, or even evidence, that he placed the tail in the food.


    Time: 12/20/97 (17:54:47)

    We get what we ask for. We have asked for this. It is only because we do not have the courage to just say NO!

    Time: 12/19/97 (16:43:37)

    Its just a case of our Periclean type of democracy as defined by Xenophon whereby the ” Worst people are allowed to be better than the good. And Bill Bennet said Pericles’s deomocracy was a paragon of democracy. That’s what’s wrong.

    Time: 12/19/97 (16:39:53)

    My girlfriend thinks the Government is Our Friend[tm] and 90% of the outrages you present here, are things she believes do not really happen in society. You guys are the greatest thing since the American Revolution!

    Time: 12/18/97 (22:40:15)

    Even when this column is worthy… it still brings out the absolute riff-raff of humanity! How dare Gloria Mundi suggest that American streets and other public areas look so “trashy” and “littered” because of only “illegal aliens”.

    First of all, that is simple GARBAGE itself Gloria! The ISSUE is not the garbage that these illegal aliens supposedly are responsible for tossing across our nation, BUT IS an issue of other Americans who hire these illegals, thereby encouraging MORE illegals to come here, and a government that is too damned lax on this issue!

    Throw on top of that the simple minds of some people who’s only real claim to fame is FINGER POINTING at a population which she considers “less-than-her-royal-highness self — and we continue to have the MAIN issues of importance escape us all together! DUH?!

    Time: 12/18/97 (19:31:39)

    I began thinking more about the problem of people making money off the legal system in this country soon after I was sued by someone I sold a car to.

    Picking up on a minute detail of my add he not only wanted to sue me for false advirtising but still wanted to keep the car. Luckily, I was not alone. There were five others in the courtroom that day who also had to waste their time because of this lous. The Judge took one look at all of us and ruled not-guilty.

    The travisty is that the people who failed to show up were required to pay. Why can’t we do what other countries do and require the prosecuter to pay for all time and court costs if they loose. Futhermore I am reminded of a woman I saw on a TV journalism program who made a living suing her neighbors.

    It seems that an easy solution to this problem would be to put a cap on the number of times a year someone can sue someone else.

    Time: 12/18/97 (19:4:42)

    Michael F. Zanakis and Vickie Dugan, should certainly catch the interest of (Pres.) Clinton.

    These two ladies would make a great team, together with Janet Reno (unelected) and Hillary Clinton (unelected) in destroying this once great Republic up even more than our worst enemies could even dreamed off.

    All these shyster lawyers, incl. the afore mention two traitors, should all work for a living, like volunteering to cleaning up our disgusting looking Highways, courtesy of their illegal aliens, who, even though on welfare, still do not know a Garbage can from a Public Highway.

    Sic transit gloria mundi!

    Time: 12/18/97 (18:4:26)

    To be fair juries should look into possible life time earning of said persons.The best is a person who has a yearly income of $10,000 x 50 years working = $500,000 not 50 million see my point

    Time: 12/18/97 (17:39:38)

    This fraudalent use of the justice system to make you rich is nothing new as it has been happening all 64 years of my life. Has anything been done to curtail this travesty? NO!

    Until the people force therir representatives to eliminate these crazy settlements for no real malpractice and until the victems fight back, it will not change. Complaining on the net will not cure the problem.

    Rolls Royce

    Time: 12/18/97 (11:51:34)

    don’t forget who juries are. we have met the enemy……it is ourselves.

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