Man sues wife.

No big deal, right? Probably estranged, engaged in a custody battle, or just the usual squabble over who gets what in the divorce settlement.

Wrong. Dick and Sally Thomas get along just fine. They have been happily married for 43 years, and will probably continue until death does them part.

But Dick and Sally have a problem. Sally smokes five or six cigarettes a day in their home. Dick doesn’t like smoking.

Sally won’t stop smoking. Dick wants her to stop.

Like many Americans who have a problem, Dick thinks a lawsuit is the answer. So he filed suit against his wife under the Federal Clean Air Act. Dick feels his home should be free of toxic materials like cigarette smoke, and he wants the federal government to force his wife into a clinic that will help her kick her evil habit.

Sally has retained counsel.

(Source: Chicago Tribune.)