There is no nice way to put this; the Detroit Lions suck, and, in fact, they have always sucked. They are the only NFL team to have never appeared in a Super Bowl. In 2008, a bad year for the US and especially for Detroit, they went 0-16.  This year they have, once again, a solidly losing record. So they are, at least, consistent.

The team has been owned since 1964 by the Ford family, of Ford cars fame.  The cars, while not great, at least perform in a generally satisfactory way, which is far more than can be said for the football team. 

After a half century of mediocrity under the Fords, you might think it would be time for them to admit defeat and sell the team to someone who actually knew how to run a football franchise. But, of course, in our land the super-rich are allowed to wallow in their own self-delusions, so the 90 year old Martha Ford is now in charge. She is well known for giving good hugs. Mrs. Ford was born into another super rich famly owned car dynasty, the Firestones.  

So what can a 90 year old white female aristocrat teach a bunch of 20 something black ballers? Apparently, not much.  But who cares about winning when you give good hug.