If you’re hunting corrupt dictators, plantiff’s attorneys, or blow-hard politicians, more power to you, and our only advice is to use discretion when stuffing and mounting the trophy. But if you’re talking about innocent animals that have done you no harm, we have to wonder why.

Of course, hunting is the most basic of manly activities, and we have nothing against going into the woods in search of your dinner, but only if your kill ends up in your stomach and not on your wall. The very essence of manly behavior is the idea of a fair fight, on equal terms. We don’t see what’s fair about using a high powered rifle with a scope to shoot a deer that happens to be innocently foraging for food. There has been something of a renaissance in the old art of hunting with bow and arrow, and this certainly seems like more of a level playing field than using a gun. But if you really want a fair fight, it seems like the manly thing to do would be to head into the woods with just a knife, and take down that beast in hand-to-hand combat. After all, big guy, you’re the one looking for a fight.

As for fishing, the same rules apply. Going to catch your dinner? Fine. But fishing for sport? Let’s put it this way; if someone put a barb in your mouth, removed the barb, and threw you back in the water, would that be your idea of fun? We didn’t think so. Again, if you’re looking to torture things in the idea of sport, send us an email and we’ll supply a long list of our fellow human beings who deserve your best (or worst) shot. But to kill or torment the innocent just for sport seems like an act of destruction that would repulse any real gentleman.