There are a few times when even the best man is better off forgetting about his dignity and just being a happy fool, and dancing is one of those times. But even in the midst of foolish chaos, there are some rules:

– Some forms of dancing require contact, but only with your partner. You may throw elbows in the three second zone when you’re playing hoops, but keep your body parts to yourself when on the dance floor.

– Men may dance with other men only:
If they’re gay
They’re so cool and macho that they don’t care about being mistaken for being gay


– Dancing by yourself is okay only under the following conditions:
You’ve just gotten off the phone with Tyra Banks, and she’s on her way over.
Your daughter had dumped that scum-bag boyfriend
Your wife has decided to renounce credit cards, her mother, and pouting.
The vet says your dog is going to be okay.
The invasion appears to be succeeding.

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