December 4, 1997
KIDS IN COURT!
Let us suppose your precious little girl, Kytan, has come home from elementary school and tells you that her classmate, mean Cassandra, pulled her hair and called her names. You take which of the following steps:
- Explain to Kytan that she has to learn to get along with her classmates, and if she can’t be friends with Cassandra she should just ignore her.
- Give little Kytan judo lessons so she is better able to defend herself.
- Call Kytan’s teacher and try to persuade her to help mend the relationship between Kytan and Cassandra.
- Give Kytan your favorite Luger and instructions on avoiding the metal detectors at school.
- Call Cassandra’s mother and tell her that her daughter better stop bugging your daughter, or else.
- Take the matter to court and ask the judge to intervene.
It’s really hard to find good judo instructors these days, so the only sensible answer is F. And that’s just what Mrs. Schultz, mother of Kytan, did.
Mrs. Schultz said her ten-year-old daughter had been subjected to name calling, hair pulling and taunts from her classmate, Cassandra, so she took the matter to a Michigan court.
Macomb Circuit Court Judge Michael Schwartz issued a stern warning to the children: “If one of you looks cross-eyed to the other you’re going to come back here.” The heads of the two fifth graders barely rose above the judge’s bench.
The attorney for ten-year-old Cassandra thought the ruling was “definitely a solution.” Others weren’t so happy. Macomb County prosecutor Carl Marlinga asked, “Where did we get this idea that every dispute between children has to wind up before a circuit court judge? I think it’s a ridiculous waste of time.”
This is a short Outrage because we’ve got to go assemble our legal team — little Johnny Outrage just came home and told us that Charlie blasted him with a spitball.
(Source: The Tribune.)
Quote of the Day!
Laws are like spiders webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape.
— Solon, “Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers,” 3rd century A.D.
© Copyright 1996-98, The Outrage is produced by Athens New Media. All rights reserved.
