Perception: Berlin has a reputation for curt, slow restaurant service

Reality: service is generally fine, friendly and, if not speedy, reasonably timely. The notable exceptions to this, for some weird reason, appear to be Asian restaurants. The only two places where we had rude service was at a Vietnamese restaurant and a Thai place, and in both it was so notably rude as to be laughable. But both places were busy and were hustling to get the orders out.

There are lots of food choices; Russian, lots of Vietnamese, and other Asian, French, not very good imitations of American fast food, and loads of pizza. The food is generally passable, if not great; Berlin isn’t where the foodies go, but you’ll certainly have lots of choices at reasonable prices.

Speaking of food, what is going on with all the wasps? In August and September they seem to be everywhere, especially eating the pastries at cafes and bakeries all over Berlin. Sure, they’re more attractive than flies, but still, why are they everywhere? Could it be the preponderance of sweets throughout Berlin? There’s also a story, or perhaps urban myth, that the wasps are a result of the attempt by eco-sensitive locals to raise wasps to offset their general decline. Not surprisingly, many escape from their hives and apparently head straight to the nearest bakery.

And while discussing restaurants, this might be the place to mention my inner, existential battle with Starbucks, in this case one very near Alexanderplatz:

Day One:  Hate to see it, as it represents the dark side of globalization

Day Two:  I’ll reluctantly go in, as I’m too tired to keep searching for an authentic place. But only this once.

Day Three: This place is pretty nice; new, nice design, much nicer than the scuzzy ones I know from the US

Day Four: Okay, I’ll go again, but only because it’s the only place open before 8AM

Day Five: Capitulation; it’s nice, the food and coffee is just as good as at the other local places, and they have more comfortable chairs. I’ve been corrupted.

Perception: Europe’s strict labor laws and slack labor market means that restaurants, shops, and bars will be overstaffed;

Reality: That may be true for other parts of Europe, but certainly not Berlin, where nothing is overstaffed. Most restaurants have a single waiter or waitress; even public facilities like the zoo don’t have people standing around. Hotel workers seem to work long shifts; generally, there are fewer workers everywhere and they are working longer and harder than you might expect. Berlin has no minimum wage, but that doesn’t mean workers are cheap. A hotel bartender might make 10E an hour, about $13US.  Berliners are generally not big tippers, far less generous than Americans. An expected tip for a waiter or cab driver is around 10%, but locals might only tip 5%.  In terms of service staff, one thing that will surprise Americans – used to middle aged Hispanic women comprising almost all housekeeping staffs at hotels, is that the housekeepers at Berlin hotels are often young, fit, Caucasian, male or female, and occasionally quite good looking.

Perception: Germans are a hardworking, industrious people;

Reality: this might generally be true, (see above) but you’ll be very hard pressed to find a cup of coffee for sale anywhere in Berlin before 8 AM; or to find any Berliners out and about early. School starts at 8, and despite its family nature Berlin is not an “early to bed, early to rise type of place. Even an American institution like Starbucks, which opens at 5:30 or 6 in the states, won’t open until 7:30 on a weekday and as late as 9:30 on the weekend.

Perception: The buxom fraulein, the beefy German strongman

Reality: At least in Berlin, probably the least traditional of all German cities, the locals simply look European, not notably Germanic. The women are not particularly buxom – and we’ve given this matter exhaustive research – and the men look like those in any other European city.

Overview

Best tine for Berlin is summer which is normally not too hot, although beware that because of that many hotels – even quite nice ones like the Circus apartments which we recommend, don’t have air conditioning. Safest bet may be September in terms of the weather, although there are a couple big conventions in town that month that can play havoc with hotel rates and availability.

If you have a choice, probably best to avoid Air Berlin, with tiny seats even by current airline standards, and dubious service.

Yes, most people speak English, but Berlin is still not all that easy to get around, in large part because it’s the combination of early villages, and when they were pasted together streets kept their original names, so it’s quite common to be walking down a street and have different street names if you take a right or take a left.

You’ll hear a lot about Kreuzberg which is supposedly the hip area, and that’ saying something in Berlin, the capital of European hipness. But Kreuzberg is overrated. Yeah, it’s still a little gritty, and we get that that’s supposed to make it cool, but sometimes lack of polish and refinement isn’t really all that interesting.  Yes, many of the new galleries are headed here, but neither the art nor the hood are worthwhile.  The real place to be is in the Rosenthaler Platz area of Mitte – the best hotels, lots of cafes, good boutiques, easy access to Museum Island, and a generally central location.

Throughout Berlin, You’ll see lots of bikers as the day progresses, and some joggers in the evening, but very few early in the morning. Yet, despite the fact that every other retail store seems to be selling chocolate croissants and cappuccinos, there are far fewer fat Berliners than in a typical American city. Michael Bloomberg could take a lesson.  Is it all the biking, the walking, the smaller portions? Who knows? If Berliners are slimmer than Americans, it’s certainly not because they’re generally healthier, in fact, they smoke far more than Americans, especially the young people. Their health care system will pay for yoga classes because they are “preventive medicine”, but 95% of adult Berliners don’t bother wearing a helmet when they bike, even as model for their kids. (On the other hand, the vast majority of kids are wearing helmets.)

Another thing you’ll notice as you walk around is that Berliners are looking down at their phones when they’re alone, but not in groups, which is the sad state of American “social” life.  In groups, remarkably enough, Berliners are actually engaged in real live conversation!

Architecture

How did so much beautiful architecture survive? If you visit Tokyo you’ll see very little pre-World War Two architecture due to allied bombing, and you might expect the same in Berlin, given that it was the heavily bombed capital of the Third Reich, but not so. Some credit, in part, the economic failures of Communist Berlin and then the squatters, who took over buildings that were empty and “stateless” after the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. According to this argument, many historically valuable buildings would have been knocked down by developers except that they were occupied by squatters. Eventually, the buildings beauty was recognized and historic preservation laws were passed. But don’t get all misty eyed about the role of squatters. Even today, a quarter century after the fall of the Wall, they continue to occupy some buildings, and provide violent resistance to the legal owners. And it gets worse; the dark underside to Berlin are the people who throw rocks against the brand new plate glass windows of renovated buildings, as a pathetic last gasp form of protest against gentrification. These people are true Neanderthals of the modern world, thinking they will stop new building, much of which is quite beautiful, by breaking glass in the middle of the night. We have some ideas as to what should be done to these people (link to crime and punishment) Even with all the renovation, rents in Berlin are the lowest of major German cities, and account for the fact that Berlin is relatively affordable.

What you’ll find are a lot of 5-6 story buildings with unvarying roof lines but quite varying, and often very beautiful, facades. A note on density; these size building seem to create enough human density to support a healthy restaurant  and café ecosystem, while not so much as to be visually overwhelming or to create any sort of congestion. But the use of bikes and trams also goes a long way to avoiding car congestion.