The Brownpants
While these excerpts aren't quite light reading, the chapters highlighted are from a
great, solidly documented reference book. It's perfect for making convincing
arguments in favor of a positive world view.
Soldier's Cave
Camp Tick has no fences, but it is
surrounded by signs saying, "No Unauthorized Personnel." Mr. Brownpants has
told Johnny, Sammy and Elva that these signs mean, "Johnny, Sammy and Elva
— Keep Out!"
Railroad Tracks Are For Trains
Jimmy Jones lived only a half mile from the
Brownpants as the crow flies. However, since the Brownpants were not crows
and cold not fly over tree tops and streams, it was actually a two-mile walk
between the two homes using the roads and the paths that the three boys
knew.
A Dog Named "Need-Indeed"
Elva was afraid of one thing only. Surprisingly
enough, it was a thing that would not scare most six year olds, particularly
six year olds who have one. Elva was afraid of dogs. She didn't discriminate
in her fear of dogs — she was afraid of big dogs, small dogs, handsome
dogs, and ugly dogs.
Too Cold! Too Hot!
The snow, which had been a cheery white novelty
in December, was now a dreary gray blanket enshrouding grassless lands and
leafless trees; mirroring clouded skies. Thus it was that Johnny, Sammy,
Elva, and three friends found themselves sitting in the Brownpants' basement
on a bleak Saturday morning wondering what to do.
A Muddy Dress
Actually, Elva was like other little girls.
And like other little girls, one of the things she liked most was pretty
new dresses.
Mattaponi
Mr. Brownpants had his vacation in June, and
although it would begin in one week, the Brownpants had not yet decided what
to do. After dinner one night, they sat around the dining room table discussing
the problem. ... Mr. Brownpants had been sitting quietly with an amused
smile on his face while the family debated their fate. "I have made up our
mind where we are going," Mr. Brownpants said. (Mr. Brownpants ran his family
in a very democratic way. Everyone except Need-Indeed was entitled to one
vote on family decisions, and Mr. Brownpants got four. If your arithmetic
is good, you can see how this arrangement worked.)